Help me pick a new hairstyle...Please!!

I haven't cut my hair in 2 years.  It is getting very long.  I always wear it in a ponytail, which is fine and looks nice for work, but it gives me a headache.  I am thinking of cutting it into a long bob like this...

Of course, you have to imagine the cut on me, not Gwyneth.  I do not have super straight hair and I don't think she does either so this might work.  Or this...

I think this one is super cute, but this is a slim and petite girl too.  This one has lots of layers which is nice and a sort of side bang thing going on that I like.  Or what about this one?

I think Jessica's hair is thick like mine and I can style mine this straight.  Again, this one has no bangs.  This next one has bangs...

I think this is really adorable and I can probably pull it off with the styling, but, again, should I get the bangs?  If I was really skinny and had straight hair, I would do this...

She's so gorgeous!  Again, I really like the bangs (especially above the eyebrows like that!!) but don't know if it's quite right for me at my age.

What do you think?  I could really use some help here!!  Please comment with your opinion.  Once I have decided and get the cut, I'll post a picture. 

Tonight's dinner conversation...horny squirrels and sex partners

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As you all know, we are sometimes prone to rather colorful dinner conversations around here.  Tonight's...

As Jack was telling me about the protagonists in a movie he was watching, I suddenly remembered the squirrels I had seen while walking Russell an hour before.

Me:  Oh!  I forgot to tell you guys about the mating squirrels I saw earlier!  (That quickly got their attention and it was quiet as all eyes turned to me.)

Kurt:  Mating squirrels?

Me:  Yeah!  The girl squirrel jumped on the tree in front of us (Russell and me) and then the boy ran after her.  She twitched her tail a few times and then he jumped on her back!  (I'm smiling as I tell it...it's funny and I can't help it.)

Kurt:  You know, that story reminds me of when we made these two guys (nudging his head towards the boys).  You twitched your tail and I jumped on your back!

Me:  You mean the TWO times we had sex and conceived these guys?

Kurt:  Yeah.

Jack:  Yeah, and daddy said, "That's the signal, green light!  Go!" (as he made a humping motion)

Jack:  All of this brings a question to my mind, Dad.  How many people...

Me:  (thinking)  Wow, there are so many possibilities of things that one could insert in there, he wouldn't possibly ever ask how many people his dad ever had sex with.

Jack:  How many people...have you been sexually engaged with?

Me:  (Looking at Kurt)  Oh my gosh!  You know, I thought about that ending to that question, but as I sat here and thought of all the possibilities for filling in the end of that sentence, I just KNEW that wouldn't be the question that would come out of his mouth!

Kurt:  (Choking on his food)  I know!  I thought of it too, but really didn't expect him to ask that!  You are the one (pointing at me) that started this!

Me:  I did not!

Kurt:  Yes you did, you were talking about horny squirrels.

Me:  No, I just told a story of the mating squirrels I saw.  You are the one that turned it into a comparison on how we conceived our children!  It's your fault!

Jack:  Well???

Me:  Just each other.  (The kids looked like they didn't even come close to buying that, but I really am not ready for that conversation.  You know, the one where the kids discuss your number and whether or not you fall into this category or that.  No, I am really not ready for that.  Better for them to just keep hearing that you wait for your one true love and that there really IS a Santa and a Tooth Fairy and an Easter Bunny.)

Confessions of a working (outside of the home) mom.

First of all, let me say this, I get that being a mom is a job all by itself.  I have been doing it since my kids were born (obviously) and working on and off in between.  I have run my own design business in the last few years, but that was part-time at best since the economy tanked.  I have said many times that being a stay-at-home mom is a tough job that you don't get paid money for.  You definitely get payoffs, but they are not monetary.

I have gone back to full-time, outside of the home work as a police officer.  I am still responsible for my other job as well.  I am enjoying the police work tremendously.  It is satisfying and it also rewards me with a paycheck every two weeks.  I have received two so far!  Here's the thing though.  My other job has been suffering in the transition.  I have come to the realization that I am not able to do everything like I used to.  Here is a list of the areas I am deficient in at the moment...(consider this my counseling statement to myself)...

1.  My house is no longer clean.  There is dog hair and dust everywhere.  Plus?  My kids' bathroom smells like a urinal...GROSS!

2.  I no longer cook meals every night.  Kurt has definitely been picking up the slack here, but there have been many nights when I have opted to pick up KFC or Mickey D's rather than cook.

3.  I have not been on top of my kids about their homework.

4.  I go to bed nearly two hours before my kids on most nights.  I have been getting up at either 4 or 5 a.m. and by 7:30, I am toast.  I just can't keep my eyes open.  I'm in bed by 7:30 and lights out by 8:00.  Pathetic, I know.

5.  My kids have to get themselves up and ready for school in the mornings with NO ONE HOME!  I no longer cook them a hot breakfast each morning.  My poor, neglected children now eat a bowl of cereal instead of eggs.  Then they get themselves dressed, walk the dog and lock the house as they leave.

6.  I have not been taking my son to the batting cages every day.  Again, with the work schedule and the busy zone I work in, I am exhausted at the end of the day.  Jack's hitting has suffered because of this.
**Side note, I did take him this past week (I've been working on this post for 2 weeks...do you see a pattern of behavior here??) and today at his game, he hit a home run with 2 RBI's!  See?  He really needs to hit those cages so he can do well!

7.  I haven't been working out.  Or even watching what I eat.  Some days, I don't even get to eat because I am so busy, but then I make up for it when I get home...ugh!  I keep intending to start over tomorrow.  I'm definitely starting over tomorrow!

8.  I have a very short fuse these days.  In other words, I am frequently a bitch to all of the male species living in my house.  Sorry Guys!  Mommy is trying to adjust!

There you have it.  I am a slacker in the mommy department.  I am trying to improve.  One thing is certain though, I do love getting that pay check every two weeks and also, I love my job and the people I work with.  It's all exhausting, but it is still good.  I will get better at doing all of this, I promise.

Props to the hubby!

Part of the reason I have been a little uptight lately about returning to work has been my concern about how I am going to be able to keep up with everything I already do and adding a full-time job to that list.

Yesterday was my first day back to work.  While I was gone, Kurt did the grocery shopping (I didn't even have to ask him to do it!)  He did a load of laundry.  He cooked dinner.  The kids did the dishes.  Kurt helped Lee with his homework while I helped Jack. 

A successful first day all around.  Clearly, it has to be a team effort to make this work and I am pleasantly surprised to find that I am on a team that is working together.

So, in case you see this, thanks Babe!

I'm getting paid to do this???

So today was my first day at my new job. It was so great! I got to shoot...I learned a new technique for speed and accuracy. I was placing a bullet right between the target's eyes at 7 feet away, from a brand new security holster that I wasn't familiar with, in one second! I still got it!

The Chief came in and spoke to us about our jobs in the schools prior to swearing us in. It felt good to know, once again, what an impact I can have on a kid's life with this job.

I had a great time seeing some old friends and getting to know some new ones. Four other officers were hired with me. As cops will do when placed in a room together, we immediately started making jokes about each other and having fun at each others' expense. We got a little rowdy with our laughter. It really was great! (I know I keep saying the word great, but it really was.) I can't believe I got paid to have so much fun today. And I get to do it all over again tomorrow :)

What do burritos, special sauce and puberty have in common?

Monday night's dinner conversation, of course!  We were talking about Jack's performance at yesterday's baseball games.  He was the catcher for the second game of the double header and he did a great job.  He even threw the team's first out at second while a runner was trying to steal second from first.  He had 4 singles and a double with a total of 4 RBI's...like I said, he did a great job.  I was saying how good he looked behind the plate.  (We have been getting Jack extra coaching with a former pro-ball catcher in order to improve his game.)  I said he looked very athletic and had a lot of endurance.  I just told him he needs to improve his upper body strength a little more to catch up with his lower body.  He said he needed to work out more.  Lee informed him that he wouldn't really see much more improvement in the upper body strength until he reached puberty (because Lee is clearly an expert in the matter, being there himself.)  As Jack was jumping in to say he IS in puberty, Lee corrected himself to say that he meant Jack would improve when he got further along in the whole puberty thing.

As I was sitting there listening (having been working on a very stiff rum and diet soda) I stupidly asked, "How do you know when you are in puberty?"

Silence...

Lee:  "Pimples, voice cracking and stuff."

Jack's response was to grin and say, "Well, I'd rather not say during dinner."

To which I relplied, "Well, why not?"

Jack: "Because I'd rather talk to dad about it since he has the same thing as me."

And I said (it was the alcohol talking, I'm telling you) "I'm very familiar with the equipment, you know.  How do you think you came along?  I birthed you from my loins and I'm very familiar with the equipment that helped you get there in the first place.  Right?"  (Looking at Kurt who, to his credit only shook his head and started to chuckle.)

Kurt: "Maybe we should wait till after dinner.  I 'm not sure I want to hear this right now."

Jack: "But we're talking about burritos...and special sauce!"

Me:  "I know all about burritos and special sauce."

Jack:  "Is that true dad?"

Kurt:  "She knows more about the special sauce than I do."

Jack:  "Would you like some chicken with that?"

Lee (in a deep Southern accent):  "Chiggin nuggets!"

Which cause my boys to crack up and me to pause and say, "You know, I was wondering what I was going to blog about tonight.  Now I know."

I received the Versatile Blogger Award!

Ok, I know I am a complete dork, but I'm pretty excited to tell you that a fellow blogger, Shar from Life Reinvented in Phoenix gave me the Versatile Blogger Award!  I'm not really sure exactly what it means, but I think "The Prize Patrol" is on their way over to give me a million dollars, so I have to straighten up the house real quick.  Before I do that though, I'm supposed to tell you guys 7 things about myself and then choose another blog (or two) to pass along the award to.  Here goes:

1.  My favorite snack growing up was a peanut butter and ketchup sandwich.  Don't ask.

2.  I kissed a girl when I was 8 years old.  She was a neighbor in Homestead, FL and she and her sister thought it would be a great idea to practice kissing with my sister and I.  We practiced french kissing.  I don't remember her name.  Anna, do you remember their names???  By the way, I think she is the reason I am a pretty good kisser now ;)

3.  I drink my coffee black with a little sugar.

4.  I love watching NFL football games on Sundays.  I have about 8 teams on my radar that I enjoy keeping up with.

5.  I have a small collection of roosters and hens.  I only collect really special ones.

6.  The gypsy in my blood (I don't think I have real gypsy, just the urge to travel and wear old, odd or questionably mixed patterns from time to time) makes me want to go.  We are pretty stable here.  Same house for the last 8 years and before that, same house for 9 years.  I want stability for my kids because I didn't have it, but I am craving instability for myself right now.  I am feeling the urge to mix it up, take a trip, run away, get lost for  a little while.

7.  This is not the first award I ever won.  I once received "Officer of the Month" for tracking down a man who had kidnapped a woman in Palm Beach.  I worked day and night for 2 weeks on that case and eventually found the man and arrested him.  True story.

Well, there you have it.  7 things that (I hope) you didn't know about me until today.  Please go visit Shar at her blog Life Reinvented in Phoenix.  She is doing a fantastic job of helping her family settle in to their new home in Phoenix after her husband lost his job in California and they had to give up their home.  Her story is a scary sign of the times and.  Instead of being defeated about their situation, they are reinventing themselves, career, home and all in Phoenix and are doing a great job so far.  Go see for yourself!

I am passing this award along to Natalie at My Blog Is Boring because she is anything but.  She writes about all kinds of things and because I am schizophrenic like that...well, I like that!

The morning after

Last nigt, in a fit of bad judgement, I published a blog entry.  The content in and of itself wasn't so terrible (maybe questionable is the right word here), it was the state I was in...I wasn't fit to properly judge good blog material last night.

I was tired last night.  Bones-aching, eye-blinding tired.  Kurt had gone to bed and the kids wanted to play a video game on the living room television.  I wanted to watch a movie and veg.  I told them I would choose a movie on Netflix.  They moaned and rolled their eyes because I always choose "stupid movies." 

I scrolled through and saw Wierd Science on the list and that was it.  I told them we would watch a movie from when I was 21.  They moaned louder and said they didn't want to watch an "old movie."  I won the battle and turned the movie on.  In my ultra-worn-out brain, it was the funniest thing I had EVER seen.  Seriously, I was laughing out loud with tears rolling down my cheeks.  At one point, I had to excuse myself to go pee or have an accident on the couch.  The kids were laughing too and I felt like a complete success! 

Truly, when I saw the bar scene I published on my blog last night, I almost peed my pants from laughing.  My kids were in stitches.  I had the laptop in front of me and was staring at a blank "new post" page and thought, "I'll do a post on the funniest movie ever, because this is the funniest movie EVER!"

There you have it.  I woke up this morning, freshly rested and remembered my post from last night.  I come before you now with my tail tucked between my legs and ask for your forgiveness.  My judgement was impaired.  And forgive me, but even in my current state of having more brain cells at my disposal, I have to say, that movie was funny.  In fact, it was damn funny.  I just probably shouldn't have posted it on my blog...not one of my more stellar writing accomplishments. 

Wierd Science...funniest movie ever!

Tonight, I convinced my boys to watch "Wierd Science" on Netflix.  Oh my gosh!  It's just as funny as when I saw it in 1985!  This is one of the funniest scenes...the bar scene where Gary is talking about "this crazy 8th grade bitch" he had a crush on:

Damn funny!

I have a start date for my new job!!!

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Okay everyone...I have a start date for the new police position!  I will be starting October 17th.  I had orientation today to go over the benefits and boring stuff and am now seeing the light at the end of the tunnel...in about another month, I am not going to lose sleep over paying the bills every month!

I am fully aware of how fortunate I am to have found a job in this economy.  I have never, in the 24 years since I started working in law enforcement, seen the lack of jobs and layoffs that I have seen in the last year.  It truly is shocking when you think about it.  When the economy is down, crime usually goes up to a certain extent.  That has always meant plenty of job security for police officers.  That is just not the case now.  Since property values have dropped, municipalities and county governments don't have the budgets they used to have and they are cutting police positions.  Meanwhile, police academies are still cranking out newly trained officers who don't have jobs waiting for them.

So I am thankful. I am thankful to have the chance to add to my family.  I am thankful I am still so able.  I am thankful to have found a job doing something I am good at.  I am thankful I found a job that will work for my family.  I am just thankful.  That's all.